I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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