I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
