And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
