TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
