The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
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Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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