For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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