my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
