im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
