i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
