please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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