I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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