Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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