I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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