I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
