she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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