She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
