i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
