similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
