I hate all girls vehemently.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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