I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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