...so i touched it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
