marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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