we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
