Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
