Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
After last night, I could never be a politician.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sober January is a disaster.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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