Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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