I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
