Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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