Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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