i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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