i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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