Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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