I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
