Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she smelled like a LAN party
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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