The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
