i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
