If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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