First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you win again, gameday.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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