ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
