Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
