I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
