I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
