My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
