Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
