smell my finger.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
