Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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