His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
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I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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