I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
