I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
