Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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