You work out of a Hotel?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think my fart just growled at me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
