woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
