Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
