I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We have started to decorate penises.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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