I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
