No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
