Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
