Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
