If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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